Employee Assistance Program/CORNELL UNIVERSITY
Family and Children’s Service
(607)255-1531
STAGES OF GRIEF and COPING: Children and Adolescents
Grieving is a deeply personal process that everyone moves through when a significant
loss has been sustained. Children
and adolescents who experience the loss of someone or something that
they love go through a grief cycle just like adults.
The intensity and duration of the grieving process varies from individual to individual. Factors that influence the intensity and duration of the grieving process include:
q The individual’s age and developmental stage at time of the loss
q The importance or significance that the individual places on the someone or something lost
q The number of previous real or perceived losses or separations that the individual has experienced
q The individual’s degree of emotional or psychological vulnerability
q The quality and availability of the individual’s personal support system
q The individual’s cultural and religious beliefs
Generally, children and adolescents may experience the following symptoms of grief throughout the grieving process:
|
EMOTIONAL |
BEHAVIORAL |
PHYSICAL |
|
Denial |
Emotional and Behavioral |
Change of Appetite (increase or decrease) |
|
Sadness/Despair |
Regression |
Poor Sleep (difficult falling asleep, frequent waking, early morning waking with inability to fall back to sleep) |
|
Anger (toward self, current significant others or caretakers, the lost someone or something or God) |
Increase Dependency |
Unsettling Dreams or Nightmares
|
|
Anxiety, Worry, Fearfulness |
Hyperactivity or Underactivity |
Bed Wetting |
|
Irritability |
Heightened Sensitivity |
Shortness of Breath |
|
Guilt |
Emotional Outbursts (intense and unpredictable; may manifest as verbal and/or physical aggression or property destruction) |
Tightness in Throat |
|
Abandonment |
Decrease Frustration Tolerance |
Headaches |
|
Rejection |
Social Withdrawal or Avoidance |
Chest Pain, “Heartache”, “Pounding” or “Heaviness” in Chest |
|
Loneliness |
Slowed Thinking |
Stomach Ache, Nausea “Butterflies in Stomach” |
|
Vulnerability |
Racing Thoughts |
Fatigue |
|
Longing |
Forgetfulness |
|
|
Apathy |
Restlessness |
|
|
Confusion |
Difficulty Attending and Focusing on Task |
|
|
Distrust of Others |
Aimless Wandering |
|
|
Feeling of Unreality |
Lack of Motivation and Initiative |
|
|
Feeling of Emptiness |
Lack of Interest |
|
|
*Suicidal Thoughts or Feelings |
Oppositional and/or Defiant |
|
|
*Disassociation or Flashbacks |
School Avoidance |
|
|
*Psychotic Thinking (i.e. visual or auditory hallucinations, poor reality testing, etc.) |
Crying Spells or Frequent Sighing, Inappropriate laughter, silliness, boisterous or joking behavior Telling and retelling the story of the loss *Self-Abuse |
|
*Indicates symptoms that may manifest in youth identified as having pre-existing emotional problems or severely stressed youth