1. Comparing Other vs. self is “smarter than”, “better than”, “more than”
2. Mind Reading “What are they thinking?”, “second guessing”
3. Rehearsing “What I’m going to say to that”
4. Filtering “What’s your angle?”
“Is this a threat to me?”
5. Judging Labeling: Name-calling
“You’re stupid, “You’re crazy”
6. Daydreaming Half listening, flashbacks to similar situations in my own life
7. Identifying relate/refer everything to myself
8. Advising Mr. “Quick Fix” with the “right” answer
“I’ll tell you what you should do”
9. Sparring Debating every sentence – Look to disagree with every point
10. Being Right Twist facts, shout louder
11. Derailing Changing the subject
Joking it away
12. Placating Agree to everything said
“Right, I know”
Four
Kinds of Expressions
1. Observations Facts as reported by senses
2. Thoughts Judgments, Ideas, Values, Beliefs
3. Feelings Qualitative
4. Needs Relationship is out of control unless feelings and needs are communicated